May 16, 2009 by Tim
Filed under Abundance, Acceptance, Affirmations, Anger, Beliefs, Conflicts, Emotions, Fear, Forgiveness, Free Will, Gratitude, Healing, Humour, Intention, Judgment, Mind, Needs, Peace, Perception
Recently I had the good fortune to attend a self discovery workshop conducted by a monk, Bhante Kumara of the Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary in Taiping. The most impressive part of the workshop was the last portion of the workshop, which was based on the Work of Byron Katie.
Katie’s work is focused on eliminating sufferings by understanding and seeing the true cause of our sufferings. The work is revealing as it shows us the error of our thinking, beliefs and perceptions, which is the root cause of our sufferings.
Katie has come up with a structured tool that makes it very easy for us to recognize these errors within us using this Judge Your Neighbor worksheet [right-click to download]. You can also download this worksheet from http://thework.com
To see the Work in Action, go to http://thework.com where there are short video clips of Byron Katie in action.
A good friend of mine recommended the book “Zero Limits” by Joe Vitale and Dr. Hew Len to me recently. Once I started reading it, I couldn’t put it down.
Dr. Hew Len, a psychologist and the practitioner of this amazing Hawaiian system of healing, and his eager student Joe Vitale, presented a way of healing and cleansing all the unwanted programs in our mind that is simple yet effective. So effective, in fact, that the good doctor – using this method – was able to heal a whole ward of criminally insane patients without the need to even hold a one-on-one consultation with them.
The book is easy to read, and can be very challenging for some people as it challenges many of our strongly held beliefs about life, the universe and how things work. It is a system that held us 100% responsible for everything that we experience, and I mean everything – no exception.
I highly recommend this book.
What is a spiritual relationship?
A relationship is how we relate to other. A spiritual relationship is a relationship that aims for the highest good for those in the relationship. It is one that facilitates our spiritual growth.
Here are some tips on how to cultivate a spiritual relationship with another.
1. A Spiritual Being in Physical Experience
Most people believe they are physical human beings, with perhaps some tendency or inclination to seek a spiritual experience. Living with this belief automatically limits our spiritual experience for it puts our spirituality in the backseat.
Instead, choose to believe that we are spiritual beings in physical manifestation. This choice automatically brings your spiritual experience into center stage, and you will begin to see every relationship as an opportunity for spiritual growth.
Remember, whatever you choose to believe in, you’re right, for a belief is merely a perception of reality.
2. Free Will
As a spiritual being, we have free will and complete control over our life. However, this is only true IF we have full control over our mind. The more mindful or conscious we are, the more free will we have.
Therefore, in every situation in a relationship, we have a choice as to how we choose to respond. We have the freedom to respond positively or negatively. Responding positively not only helps us to grow spiritually but also offer the other person an opportunity to do so as well. When we respond negatively, we miss an opportunity for growth.
It is also important to remember that the other person in the relationship too has free will. Bearing this in mind, we should not be seen to be making decisions and choices that encroach on his or her free will. That is why it is essential to have an open and frank communication.
3. Do not judge
To judge implies that we are superior to another. It implies that we know better or are more evolved. This is the working of the egoic mind. Every time we judge, we validate and strengthen our egoic mind.
Our egoic mind is the proverbial devil in disguise. If it cannot win by force, it will try to win through cunning and trickery. It is so good and subtle at this that we are often fooled by it.
To judge also implies that we are forcing our own beliefs, concepts, desires and expectations on another. In other words, we are not honoring their free will.
Each time we judge another, we are doing ourselves and the other person a disservice. We are perpetuating a negative tendency that continues to validate our egoic mind. At the same time, we encroach on the other person’s space and choice, and are more likely to create a resistance in him or her, rather than a positive respond.
4. Do not blame
To blame also implies superiority over another. To blame another also means we do not take responsibility for our share in the relationship.
A relationship is a two-way thing. It takes two to tango. You cannot clap with one hand. This means that in a relationship, both are equally responsible for the outcome.
When we blame another, we are actually saying, “It is your fault, not mine.”
However, we should also remember not to blame ourselves. Since every relationship is an opportunity for spiritual growth, take every situation as an opportunity to learn and evolve. There is no need to blame oneself or others.
Learn to accept ourselves and the other person, together with all the strengths and weaknesses. We are here to evolve into a spiritual being with full consciousness in our physical manifestation. Each of us are here for certain unique lessons.
Through acceptance, we help each other to grow. Through acceptance, we let go of our tendency to judge, blame and control.
In cultivating a spiritual relationship, we are BE-ing unconditional love.